NEXT STEPS ARE SCARY

Anyone who is my friend and/or has worked with me knows that sometimes I just have to talk things out. So, this is me, talking things out...

I have done art all my life and as an adult I have always said I want to create full time. When life as a mom slowed down, I still came up with distractions to help me be inconsistent with my art. What is that? Why am I like that? Is it because it's so hard to break habits and start new ones? Or is it fear? And what am I afraid of? It's scary to put yourself out there, yes. You can tell yourself all day that art is subjective and not everyone is going to like what you do. And guess what, they don't have to. You don't necessarily like all art, but you still appreciate it.

And that's something I would totally tell someone that was stressing. So why don't I listen to myself? This is a question I have asked myself so many times and I still don't have an answer.

So, time to make some changes. After I eliminated most of my distractions (I have done A LOT of organizing in my house) I decided to make some goals. Sounds easy and like I should have done that a while ago. But the thing is, if I make the goal, I can break it or I can change it. And I have done it. So much so I try not to call my many lists of things goals. They are just things I’d like to do some day. However, there are a couple I really wanted to do before the end of this year. So... it's almost November 2021 and I have several pieces of art at Pageboy Vintage Market & Apothecary, Thank you David and Jason (https://pageboystpt.com) and I finally started my website, added items for sale and I wrote a second blog post. But of course, you know that because you are already here! LOL

So, what does all this rambling mean? (Thank you for making it this far, by the way.). Well, I'm excited about the steps I have taken in putting myself out there. I love seeing my art displayed in the shop. It's cool to see items listed on my site. It makes me happy that I finished some things that I have been holding on to. But I'm also nervous. This dream of doing art full time, is it worth it? Will I feel like I wasted my time and money? Am I good enough and am I responsible enough? Will my art matter to someone?

And now that I am typing this, does it matter? I love making art. I love seeing art in everything. I love my eclectic style and personality and putting that out there for everyone. That's who I am. AND how will I know if it’s worth it if I don't take the next steps? So many of these questions are out of my control. I just have to keep moving forward and enjoy the process. I will probably have to read this blog post again and again to remind myself of all of this. But for now, I am enjoying the process. Enjoying the next steps. I will work hard and fight the urge to distract myself. I will work hard and do what I love. No matter the outcome, it will be worth it.

Thank you for being here. There is nothing unique about my thoughts. But sometimes we need reminders, or we need to know we are not alone in our insecurities. Sometimes, we just need a sounding board to work through our thoughts and fears. Sometimes we just need a brain dump so we can move forward. I am ready to move forward.

Much love,

Katie